Let’s be honest here. How many times have we all found a gazillion excuses for a shitty ex and his even shittier treatment of us?
I’ll be the first one to raise my hand. Love will do that to you.
I have fallen head over heels for guys who were all sorts of wrong for me and instead of facing it head-on, I’ve put up with so much crap, always finding an excuse for him; deep down knowing the real, painful truth and feeling so ashamed of myself on the inside.
That didn’t stop me from repeating that mistake a few more times, until one day I finally decided that I’m better than that. But up until that day, this was my sad truth…
I remember a particular ex who was a prime example of exactly what never to fall for (which of course I did).
He was a real smooth talker. He looked like a million bucks and he knew it. He was the type of guy who would never openly say how good he had it but he made sure people knew… He was smug that way.
He had his way with the ladies and I can’t imagine any girl being immune to his charming ways and that gorgeous, self-sufficient smile.
I fell for him instantly. It was really casual in the beginning… coffee dates, lots of laughter, spending evenings at his fancy condo and feeling like I was on cloud nine. I never wanted to leave.
Things were starting to get serious and I started having legit feelings for him. It was no longer a sexy, fun fling with an extremely hot stud but it was turning into an actual relationship where I could see myself with this guy for the long haul.
For a while, he seemed to be on the same page as me and I was literally the happiest girl in the world! What could possibly go wrong?
What I didn’t know was how little I actually knew him. The minute it started getting real, he became like a completely different person and I couldn’t recognize him anymore. I was completely invested in this and he took it all for granted.
I was at his beck and call whenever he needed me but was it reciprocated? Hell no. I gave him my heart and my soul but what did I get in return? Bits and pieces of his so-called love and only when it was convenient.
I was the best girlfriend he ever could’ve had but when I was going through a dark period, he wasn’t there for me. And the worst part is that I kept making excuses in my head.
If I was going through shit and he wasn’t there, I’d tell myself he must be going through something himself, I shouldn’t push him… If I needed him to pick me up after a long day and he wasn’t answering my calls, he must be stuck at work.
If I told him I loved him (which I really did…) and he said, ‘’Yeah, you too’,’ I knew what he really meant to say was, ‘’I love you too, baby!’’
I had a whole scenario in my head of what his crappy treatment actually meant and for a minute there, I felt better… I would convince myself of that in order not to completely lose it.
I was so crazy in love that I just couldn’t face the truth. I couldn’t say it out loud. If I did… it would become too real and I wasn’t ready for that.
I was dating a man who only gave me half of what I gave him. He was never there fully but always enough just to keep me there. He knew I didn’t need much. Just enough to make me feel like there was hope for us and I was hooked.
I am ashamed of how little I thought of myself. I am ashamed of how little I believed I was worth. It really sucks that we put ourself down for guys who aren’t worth our time!
It sucks sacrificing yourself and your time for somebody who is never going to be what you deserve! It took a lot of tears and a lot of serious conversations with myself to finally admit that it wasn’t working anymore.
Why did I keep finding excuses for a guy who blew every chance he had to prove he loved me? Why did I let myself be treated so poorly for somebody who so clearly didn’t deserve me?
If he loved me, he would have been there! If he loved me, I wouldn’t have had to question it every single, painful day. If he loved me, I wouldn’t have had to keep finding reasons as to why his fucked up treatment of me was actually justified.
It wasn’t! And it was finally time I put myself first, so I did!
It pained me like hell… but I left his sorry ass. He was only weighing me down. And by putting up with so much shit, I was suffering in silence so profoundly that it was only a matter of time before I would explode…
No guy is worth this, trust me. If you feel like you’re not getting what you deserve—leave. If your guy is taking everything you do for him for granted—don’t let it slide! You are a goddess and he is nothing but a selfish, immature asshole!
And the sooner you say it out loud, the better it’s going to feel!
He’s not emotionally damaged, he’s just an asshole! And when you’re finally brave enough to realize this, trust me—you’re never going to settle for less!
Once you realize your worth, there’s no going back.